Sitting members of the U.S. Zoopreme Court

Antonin Skunklia (1986 - present)

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Antonin Scaliaskunk

Anthony Toucannedy (1988 - present)

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Anthony Kennedytoucan

Clarence Thomouse (1991 - present)

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Clarence Thomasmouse

Ruth Bearder Ginsbearg (1993 - present)

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Ruth Bader Ginsbergbear

Stephen Bearyer (1994 - present)

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Stephen Breyerbear

John Robearts (Chief Justice 2005 - present)

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John Robertsbear

Samuel Owlito (2006 - present)

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Samuel Alitoowl

Sonia Sotomayoryx (2009 - present)

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Sonia Sotomayororyx

Elena Kaganroo (2010 - present)

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Elena Kagankangaroo

Retired Justices

John Paul Steervens (1975-2010)

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John Paul Stevenssteer

Sandra Day Okapi (1981-2006)

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Sandra Day O’Connorokapi

David Shrewter (1990-2009)

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David Soutershrew

Calls for speculation!

What might have been…

Owen Robearts (1930–1945) - Owen Roberts, bear

Charles Evans Gnus (1910-1916, Chief Justice 1930-1941) - Charles Evans Hughes, gnu

Marlin F. Stone (1925–1941, Chief Justice 1941-1946) - Harlan F. Stone, marlin

Edward Terry Salamandford (1923–1930) - Edward Terry Sanford, salamander

Tapierce Butler (1923–1939) - Pierce Butler, tapir

George Slotherland (1922–1938) - George Sutherland, sloth

William Howard Taftmanian Devil (Chief Justice 1921–1930) - William Howard Taft, Tasmanian devil

John Hessin Lark (1916–1922) - John Hessin Clarke, lark

Loris Brandeis (1916–1939) - Louis Brandeis, loris

James Clark McReindeer (1914–1941) - James Clark McReynolds, reindeer

Mahlon Pigney (1912–1922) - Mahlon Pitney, pig

Joseph Rucker Lemur (1911–1916) - Joseph Rucker Lamar, lemur

Willis Van Devanteater (1911–1937) - Willis Van Devanter, anteater

Horse Harmon Lurton (1910–1914) - Horace Harmon Lurton, horse

William Henry Moosey (1906–1910) - William Henry Moody, moose

William R. Panday (1903–1922) - William R. Day, panda

Oliver Wendell Holmester, Jr. (1902–1932) - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., hamster

Joseph MeChidna (1898–1925) - Joseph McKenna, echidna

Rufus Wheeler Pelickham (1896–1909) - Rufus Wheeler Peckham, pelican

Edward Douglass Whitetail (1894–1910, Chief Justice 1910-1921) - Edward Douglass White, whitetail

Howell Edmunds Yakson (1893–1895) - Howell Edmunds Jackson, yak

George Shiraffe, Jr. (1892–1903) - George Shiras, Jr., giraffe

Henry Billings Brown Bear (1891–1906) - Henry Billings Brown, brown bear

David Josiah Bruin (1890–1910) - David Josiah Brewer, bruin

Melville Fullamingo (Chief Justice 1888–1910) - Melville Fuller, flamingo

Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lemur (1888–1893) - Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar, lemur

Samuel Badgerford (1882–1893) - Samuel Blatchford, badger

Horace StinGray (1882–1902) - Horace Gray, stingray

Stanley Moththews (1881–1889) - Stanley Matthews, moth

William Burnham Woodschuck (1881–1887) - William Burnham Woods, woodchuck

John Marshall Harelan (1877–1911) - John Marshall Harlan, hare

Marmoset Waite (Chief Justice 1874–1888) - Morrison Waite, marmoset

Wardhog Hunt (1873–1882) - Ward Hunt, warthog

Joseph P. Zebradley (1870–1892) - Joseph P. Bradley, zebra

William Lobstrong (1870–1880) - William Strong, lobster

Salmon P. Chase (Chief Justice 1864–1873) - Salmon P. Chase, salmon

Stephen Johnson Field Mouse (1863–1897) - Stephen Johnson Field, field mouse

David Doveis (1862–1877) - David Davis, dove

Samuel Freeman Millerpede (1862–1890) - Samuel Freeman Miller, millipede

Noah Haynes Swan (1862–1881) - Noah Haynes Swayne, swan

Nathan Cleopard (1858–1881) - Nathan Clifford, leopard

John Archibald Camel (1853–1861) - John Archibald Campbell, camel

Benjamin Robbins Cowtis (1851–1857) - Benjamin Robbins Curtis, cow

Robert Cooper Grierzzly (1846–1870) - Robert Cooper Grier, grizzly bear

Levi Woodbeary (1845–1851) - Levi Woodbury, bear

Samuel Snailson (1845–1872) - Samuel Nelson, snail

Peter Vivian Crocodaniel (1842–1860) - Peter Vivian Daniel, crocodile

John McKiwi (1837–1852) - John McKinley, kiwi

John Bobcatron (1837–1865) - John Catron, bobcat

Philip Pendleton Capybarbour (1836–1841) - Philip Pendleton Barbour, capybara

Roger B. Terney (Chief Justice 1836–1864) - Roger B Taney, tern

James Moore Wolverayne (1835–1867) - James Moore Wayne, wolverine

Henry Baldeaglewin (1830–1844) - Henry Baldwin, bald eagle

John McLion (1830–1861) - John McLean, lion

Robert Trimbull (1826–1828) - Robert Trimble, bull

Smith Thompsunbear (1823–1843) - Smith Thompson, sun bear

Joseph Storky (1812–1845) - Joseph Story, stork

Gabriel Duvalligator (1811–1835) - Gabriel Duvall, alligator

Thomas Toad (1807–1826) - Thomas Todd, toad

Henry Brockholst Lizardston (1807–1823) - Henry Brockholst Livingston, lizard

William Johndoryson (1804–1834) - William Johnson, John Dory

John Mussel (Chief Justice 1801–1835) - John Marshall, mussel

Alfred Moorhen (1800–1804) - Alfred Moore, moorhen

Bushrod Waspington (1798–1829) - Bushrod Washington, wasp

Oliver Eelsworth (Chief Justice 1796–1800) - Oliver Ellsworth, eel

Samule Chase (1796–1811) - Samuel Chase, mule

William Pantherson (1793–1806) - William Paterson, panther

Thomas Fawnson (1792–1793) - Thomas Johnson, fawn

James Iredelephant (1790–1799) - James Iredell, elephant

John Ratledge (1789–1791, Chief Justice 1795) - John Rutledge, rat

John Bear, Jr. (1789–1795) - John Blair, Jr., bear

William Cuckooshing (1789–1810) - William Cushing, cuckoo

John Jay (Chief Justice 1789–1795) - John Jay, jay

James Whaleson (1789–1798) - James Wilson, whale

LANDMARK CASES:

Bearron vs. Boamore (1833) - Barron vs. Baltimore, bear, boa constrictor

Gibbons vs. Hogden (1824) - Gibbons vs. Ogden, gibbon, hog

McKoala vs. Bearyland (1819) - McCulloch vs Maryland, koala, bear

Marbeary vs. Mad Bison (1803) - Marbury vs. Madison, bear, bison

If Clarence Thomas can break his silence, so can we.

Zoopreme Court has been pretty quiet of late, and it’s hard to keep calling it a recess when there are no plans for future sittings. So we’re going to take senior status, tidy things up a bit, and then officially retire.

Many thanks to our readers, who proved there were more people then we ever would have imagined at the Venn diagram triple-overlap of judicial history, zoo animals (especially bears), and terrible puns.

It’s been fun! -ZC

Benjamin N. Cardodo (1932 - 1938)

Benjamin N. Cardozo; dodo

Hugorilla Black (1937 - 1971)

Hugo Black; gorilla

Stanley Forman Rhesus (1938 - 1957)

Stanley Forman Reed; rhesus macaque

Felix Frogfurter (1939 - 1962)

Felix Frankfurter; frog

William O. Doglas (1939 - 1975)

William O. Douglas; dog

Frank Murpheasant (1940 - 1949)

Frank Murphy; pheasant

James F. Bearnes (1941 - 1942)

James F. Byrnes; bear

Robert H. Jackalson (1941-1954)

Robert H. Jackson; jackal

Wiley Blount Rutleech (1943 - 1949)

Wiley Blunt Rutledge; leech

Harold Hitz Bearton (1945 - 1958)

Harold Hitz Burton; bear

Fred M. Bison (Chief Justice 1946 - 1953)

Fred M. Vinson; bison