Antonin Skunklia (1986 - present)
Anthony Toucannedy (1988 - present)
Clarence Thomouse (1991 - present)
Ruth Bearder Ginsbearg (1993 - present)
Stephen Bearyer (1994 - present)
John Robearts (Chief Justice 2005 - present)
Samuel Owlito (2006 - present)
Sonia Sotomayoryx (2009 - present)
Elena Kaganroo (2010 - present)
John Paul Steervens (1975-2010)
Sandra Day Okapi (1981-2006)
David Shrewter (1990-2009)
What might have been…
Owen Robearts (1930–1945) - Owen Roberts, bear
Charles Evans Gnus (1910-1916, Chief Justice 1930-1941) - Charles Evans Hughes, gnu
Marlin F. Stone (1925–1941, Chief Justice 1941-1946) - Harlan F. Stone, marlin
Edward Terry Salamandford (1923–1930) - Edward Terry Sanford, salamander
Tapierce Butler (1923–1939) - Pierce Butler, tapir
George Slotherland (1922–1938) - George Sutherland, sloth
William Howard Taftmanian Devil (Chief Justice 1921–1930) - William Howard Taft, Tasmanian devil
John Hessin Lark (1916–1922) - John Hessin Clarke, lark
Loris Brandeis (1916–1939) - Louis Brandeis, loris
James Clark McReindeer (1914–1941) - James Clark McReynolds, reindeer
Mahlon Pigney (1912–1922) - Mahlon Pitney, pig
Joseph Rucker Lemur (1911–1916) - Joseph Rucker Lamar, lemur
Willis Van Devanteater (1911–1937) - Willis Van Devanter, anteater
Horse Harmon Lurton (1910–1914) - Horace Harmon Lurton, horse
William Henry Moosey (1906–1910) - William Henry Moody, moose
William R. Panday (1903–1922) - William R. Day, panda
Oliver Wendell Holmester, Jr. (1902–1932) - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., hamster
Joseph MeChidna (1898–1925) - Joseph McKenna, echidna
Rufus Wheeler Pelickham (1896–1909) - Rufus Wheeler Peckham, pelican
Edward Douglass Whitetail (1894–1910, Chief Justice 1910-1921) - Edward Douglass White, whitetail
Howell Edmunds Yakson (1893–1895) - Howell Edmunds Jackson, yak
George Shiraffe, Jr. (1892–1903) - George Shiras, Jr., giraffe
Henry Billings Brown Bear (1891–1906) - Henry Billings Brown, brown bear
David Josiah Bruin (1890–1910) - David Josiah Brewer, bruin
Melville Fullamingo (Chief Justice 1888–1910) - Melville Fuller, flamingo
Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lemur (1888–1893) - Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar, lemur
Samuel Badgerford (1882–1893) - Samuel Blatchford, badger
Horace StinGray (1882–1902) - Horace Gray, stingray
Stanley Moththews (1881–1889) - Stanley Matthews, moth
William Burnham Woodschuck (1881–1887) - William Burnham Woods, woodchuck
John Marshall Harelan (1877–1911) - John Marshall Harlan, hare
Marmoset Waite (Chief Justice 1874–1888) - Morrison Waite, marmoset
Wardhog Hunt (1873–1882) - Ward Hunt, warthog
Joseph P. Zebradley (1870–1892) - Joseph P. Bradley, zebra
William Lobstrong (1870–1880) - William Strong, lobster
Salmon P. Chase (Chief Justice 1864–1873) - Salmon P. Chase, salmon
Stephen Johnson Field Mouse (1863–1897) - Stephen Johnson Field, field mouse
David Doveis (1862–1877) - David Davis, dove
Samuel Freeman Millerpede (1862–1890) - Samuel Freeman Miller, millipede
Noah Haynes Swan (1862–1881) - Noah Haynes Swayne, swan
Nathan Cleopard (1858–1881) - Nathan Clifford, leopard
John Archibald Camel (1853–1861) - John Archibald Campbell, camel
Benjamin Robbins Cowtis (1851–1857) - Benjamin Robbins Curtis, cow
Robert Cooper Grierzzly (1846–1870) - Robert Cooper Grier, grizzly bear
Levi Woodbeary (1845–1851) - Levi Woodbury, bear
Samuel Snailson (1845–1872) - Samuel Nelson, snail
Peter Vivian Crocodaniel (1842–1860) - Peter Vivian Daniel, crocodile
John McKiwi (1837–1852) - John McKinley, kiwi
John Bobcatron (1837–1865) - John Catron, bobcat
Philip Pendleton Capybarbour (1836–1841) - Philip Pendleton Barbour, capybara
Roger B. Terney (Chief Justice 1836–1864) - Roger B Taney, tern
James Moore Wolverayne (1835–1867) - James Moore Wayne, wolverine
Henry Baldeaglewin (1830–1844) - Henry Baldwin, bald eagle
John McLion (1830–1861) - John McLean, lion
Robert Trimbull (1826–1828) - Robert Trimble, bull
Smith Thompsunbear (1823–1843) - Smith Thompson, sun bear
Joseph Storky (1812–1845) - Joseph Story, stork
Gabriel Duvalligator (1811–1835) - Gabriel Duvall, alligator
Thomas Toad (1807–1826) - Thomas Todd, toad
Henry Brockholst Lizardston (1807–1823) - Henry Brockholst Livingston, lizard
William Johndoryson (1804–1834) - William Johnson, John Dory
John Mussel (Chief Justice 1801–1835) - John Marshall, mussel
Alfred Moorhen (1800–1804) - Alfred Moore, moorhen
Bushrod Waspington (1798–1829) - Bushrod Washington, wasp
Oliver Eelsworth (Chief Justice 1796–1800) - Oliver Ellsworth, eel
Samule Chase (1796–1811) - Samuel Chase, mule
William Pantherson (1793–1806) - William Paterson, panther
Thomas Fawnson (1792–1793) - Thomas Johnson, fawn
James Iredelephant (1790–1799) - James Iredell, elephant
John Ratledge (1789–1791, Chief Justice 1795) - John Rutledge, rat
John Bear, Jr. (1789–1795) - John Blair, Jr., bear
William Cuckooshing (1789–1810) - William Cushing, cuckoo
John Jay (Chief Justice 1789–1795) - John Jay, jay
James Whaleson (1789–1798) - James Wilson, whale
LANDMARK CASES:
Bearron vs. Boamore (1833) - Barron vs. Baltimore, bear, boa constrictor
Gibbons vs. Hogden (1824) - Gibbons vs. Ogden, gibbon, hog
McKoala vs. Bearyland (1819) - McCulloch vs Maryland, koala, bear
Marbeary vs. Mad Bison (1803) - Marbury vs. Madison, bear, bison
Zoopreme Court has been pretty quiet of late, and it’s hard to keep calling it a recess when there are no plans for future sittings. So we’re going to take senior status, tidy things up a bit, and then officially retire.
Many thanks to our readers, who proved there were more people then we ever would have imagined at the Venn diagram triple-overlap of judicial history, zoo animals (especially bears), and terrible puns.
It’s been fun! -ZC
